Mental Health/Self Care

Simple Date Ideas

I love going on dates, but for Alec and I that meant going out to dinner, movies, or anything that required spending a little bit of money. I think we blamed it on our location because south Florida is a pricey area to reside in, however, since our big move to north Florida, I think our mindset on what a date should be was the thing that was flawed.

After dating for 4-years, there have definitely been times when the two of us weren’t able to spend money on dining or entertainment because our bills had to be paid or we were trying to save money. That’s why I’m actively trying to redefine what a date means.

Like, why don’t we make grocery shopping into a cute date? Why does it have to be something we label as a weekly/bi-weekly chore?

When I think of dates (especially that first couple of dates), I think of how spontaneous they were and if we bring a little bit of that spontaneity into our everyday routines then maybe they wouldn’t feel so routine? While grocery shopping, you could purchase a few items to create a DIY date night when you get back home or you could make a quick pit-stop for $1 ice cream at McDonald’s on your way home? Who says you have to go straight to the store and then straight home; and don’t give me the, “well, I have milk in the car that will go bad” excuse. It will not take you THAT long to make a drive-thru pit stop. They’re usually quick 😉

& hopefully, the list I created below will give yourself a chance to look at everyday, routine activities with a different point of view or creativity.

  1. Visit a Local Farmer’s Market: this has turned into our weekly grocery shopping for the two of us because we like to shop package free. However, if you shop at the normal grocery store, maybe one week pick up your fruits & veggies here instead? It’s nice to get a change of scenery, but it’s also nice to help out your local farmers.
  2. Picnic: I know this is an activity that is listed on every blog about dates for couples, but hear me out on this one! This can be the easiest, cheapest, and most flexible date on this list. Easy because all you need is your favorite foods. Cheap because you can make lunches/dinners in your kitchen and flexible because this can be done anywhere! Want to have a picnic in your backyard? Do it! Want to have a picnic at a nearby park? Do it! Want to have a picnic somewhere miles and miles away? Do it, but also make sure to pack food that would stay good after that trip 😉
  3. Go to the Beach/Lake: this a great option that in most places are free or close to it. In the past, Alec and I would make mixed drinks at home, put them in a reusable tumbler and take them to a nearby beach to get some sun. If we don’t have anything to make mixed drinks at home we would go to soak up the sun regardless.
  4. Drive to the Next Town OVer & Walk: we do this one all the time!! I love traveling, however, I can’t keep spending money for flights (as much as I may want to) which is why Alec and I will drive a couple hours in one direction and explore. You can make this as cheap or expensive as you would like based on the distance. Keep it on the cheaper side and explore the next town or two over and grab something for lunch. Or, as expensive as you’d like and make this drive into a small weekend getaway.
  5.  Play Video Games Together: My boyfriend LOVES video games (he’s playing one right now as I write this) and to put it lightly, I suck at them! The only game I like playing is Jeopardy! because you don’t have to move a character and I love anything trivia-related. Even though I suck at video games, the two of us will play a game because it’s something that Alec can teach me and he really appreciates when I try to learn something that he loves.
  6. Themed Movie Week: I know most of us are watching a movie before bed, but why not make it into a theme? I mean, themes make everything instantly more fun anyway, right?! Each week the two of you can choose which theme to base your movie picks on. Whether your theme is based on action, romantic comedies, or childhood favorites it will be fun to mix up the movies you normally watch. Or if you’re like us, it’ll be nice to switch it up from The Office for the millionth time.
  7. Wine & Beer Tasting: another thing on this list that can be as cheap or expensive as you wish. For the two of us, we usually stick to 2 kinds of cheese and 1-2 types of meats. But, of course, you could do less or more depending on your preference. We tend to do cheeseboards when we want to mix up our week and this may personally be my favorite item to mix up your work week. But your girl is a major cheeseboard lover!
  8. Dress Fancy for a Dinner at Home: To purely shake up your work week, take the time to really get ready for dinner. Take your time when getting ready as well. Take a hot shower, do your hair/makeup, and get dressed in an outfit that leaves you speechless. Do all of that to have dinner in your own home, but don’t forget to dim the lights because candlelight makes everything more romantic.
  9. Read a Book Together: this one may be challenging to do if your partner isn’t the biggest book lover. I really enjoy reading but have turned to my Audible because I no longer read a book before bed like I used to. I brought this idea up to my partner about the two of us reading the same book together and discussing those chapters, but I was more in love with the idea then he was. So, I think this one would be a great date idea if the two of you both love to read.
  10. Dance in Your Living Room: ANYONE can do this date idea! You don’t even necessarily need music for this either. I mean, what’s more romantic than dancing closely together in the living room with nothing but the energy between you two. I know, at the moment it just feels like awkward silence, but when you think back on that moment you will think it was time well spent with your loved one. But, of course, if you have music play that sucker!!
  11. Take a Bath Together: I hate taking baths, however, every now and then I like to create a bath with Epsom salt. One evening, Alec and I were having our normal pizza night when we decided to mix things by having our pizza together in our bathtub. I know this may sound unsanitary, but we didn’t really care and our bathtub was huge enough to fit the two of us and then some.
  12. Goodwill Date: Set aside a certain amount that you would like to spend. You can make it simple at $5-10 or extravagant enough with a $20-25 budget. When your budget is set, the rules are simple: simply buy clothes for your partner to wear during your dinner out. My cousin did this with her now husband early into their relationship and the photos were SO cute and dorky!! I love this idea because it helps you and your partner branch out and not care about what other people think of you and what you’re wearing! And of course, you better take photos to remember this wonderfully hilarious date night idea.
  13. Recreate your First Date: since we’re on the topic of dates, you might as well spend one night recreating your first date together. You can recreate the date however you’d like with keeping it budget-friendly by recreating it in your home or going all out and sprucing up the first date you had. No matter how you recreate your first date, it will always bring you back to the memories you originally had on that day.
  14. Dessert-Only Dinner: this can be dessert-only, appetizers-only or drinks-only! Whatever floats your boat! Go all out and have a blank-ONLY dinner!
  15. DIY Painting-with-a-Twist: I know you know what I’m talking about and instead of spending $35 for two hours of instructed painting lessons. I’ve done this twice and have personally enjoyed each visit, but why not create your own DIY painting night in the comfort of your own home? Alec and I turned Bob Ross on Netflix for background noise/inspiration and we did our best at painting something that kind of resembled art. Our best tip: the more wine you drink, the better your painting will look in the moment!

If you’re having any issues figuring out what to do during the work week, I hope this list of simple date ideas helps you out. Even if you read my list and thought “wow, I’ve seen all of these before and this didn’t help me at all” I hope you build upon my ideas and create your own. You don’t need to follow mine exactly.

Alec and I are always looking for ways to spruce up our weekdays. If you have a favorite date idea that you and your partner do during the week, and I didn’t list it on here, PLEASE comment it down below because we’re always thinking of budget-friendly date ideas!!

With love,

A Simple Wildflower

My Top 10 Favorite Inspirational Quotes 

Happy Monday! Let’s start off the week with 10 of my favorite inspirational quotes to get us through the week ahead!

I love quotes! I love writing them down and hanging them on my bulletin board for friendly reminders. Or writing them in my planner so each week I see a different quote. For me, I really love reading a quote that motivates me. I’m a pretty lazy person and even reading someone else’s words gives me a sense of motivation. Not only am I lazy, but I also have a ton of self-doubt and regularly need words of encouragement.

Here are my top 10 quotes that give my life a little bit of added inspiration.

 

  1. “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” Carol Burnett

This one seems so obvious when you read it, but I need to be reminded of this ALL THE TIME! Many times, I get inside my head and make up excuses for this or that. If you continue to doubt yourself your dream will never become a reality. I always need to remind myself that if there is something about my life I want to change then I need to be the person to create that change.

  1. “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” Charles R. Swindoll

This quote speaks volumes when it comes to dealing with mental health. I get extreme road rage and I try to remember this quote when I’m about to have an outburst. I always need to remind myself before getting into my car, that people are going to drive slow, stupid, or reckless and I need to just expect it and not have an outburst when it finally does happen. (I live in South Florida this is an everyday occurrence). When something gets me feeling like I’m going to lash out, I look at this quote in my car and calmly remind myself that I can’t control the person driving but I can control my actions.

  1. “You will never win if you never begin.” Helen Rowland

I stumbled across this quote when I was deciding if I wanted to create a lifestyle blog. My job isn’t high-demanding, I’m not in school anymore, and I have no kids to take care of our responsibilities along those lines. I saw this quote randomly and it just spoke to me. If I didn’t start this blog I would have had many what-ifs in the future.

  1. “A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.” Ayn Rand

This was another quote that gave me inspiration for my blog. I never wanted to start a blog for money or to compete with others. I think those are a selfish reason to start something because you will never know if you will get money in return and that shouldn’t be your priority. I really needed a positive outlet in life and if I felt that way I knew others were too. I wanted to create a blog to motivate myself and others and feel a sense of overall accomplishment, not to compete with someone. Life should not be a competition. If you’re doing something just because of the desire to beat another or to obtain money, then maybe those are the wrong intentions.

  1. “Either you run the day, or the day runs you.” Jim Rohn

This quotes really resonated with me and my mental health. There are MANY days when my outlook and my mindset run the day. There are days when I don’t truly feel in charge of myself. And on those days, it’s hard to for you to take charge and take on the day but reading this quote at least helps me try.

  1. “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” Dalai Lama

THIS! I shouldn’t have to remind myself this, but I have anger issues that are very new and very large. And when I’m in that state, it’s difficult to remind myself to be kind to others. I turn into an opposite version of myself. I shouldn’t have to remind myself to be kind but when the Hulk comes out I try to remember this quote because I don’t like when anger is the main emotion I’m feeling.

  1. “We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.” Maya Angelou

This one is simple. Just keep moving forward! Last May I had a break-down almost every day that month. This was the moment I finally opened myself up to the option of taking medicine. I never wanted to take medicine in the beginning, but after my many challenges from May, I had to do something. At that moment, this quote seemed to really speak to me. I encountered many defeats during the month of May, but I was not going to allow myself to be defeated.

  1. “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” George S. Patton

I am lazy! A lazy person with a sprinkle of procrastination. This quote is hanging above my desk because I need a reminder to execute something now instead of later. I remind myself that there is going to be someone else that is going to perfectly execute their good plan before you if you let procrastination sink in.

  1. “Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.” Alfred A. Montapert

My therapist said something along the lines of this during one of our sessions. We were talking about my road rage and what exactly sets me off. After hearing my reasons, she told me I need to expect those drivers. Those drivers are always going to be there, and you cannot act irrationally when you finally come across one. I told my boyfriend this advice and now, every morning he reminds me that I cannot control other people’s actions and to expect those bad drivers before even getting in the car. Or, like this quote, expect those bad drivers for breakfast!

  1. “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.” Victor Kiam

To end on a light note but slightly humorous. I really enjoy this quote because many times I have fallen on my face (mostly metaphorically). After each break down it always seems so difficult to get back up and move forward. But as this quote puts it, at least you’re still moving forward! And that’s something we all need to do, and I need to work on, finding the positives out of each situation. You fell on your face? Well, at least that’s still moving forward!

 

***

 

These are quotes that resonate with me and I hope they do with you too! We always need some extra inspiration in our lives. I really enjoy quotes and would love to know which quote is your favorite?

Sincerely,

A Simple Wildflower

The Doctor’s Office – My Past Experience 

One of my last visits to the doctor’s office left me uneasy in more ways than one.

I had a routine check-up with my doctor regarding the medication I’m taking that’s supposed to target my depression and anxiety. After 3 months on that medication, I decided this first round of medicine wasn’t working for me. I didn’t feel “super” depressed, but I still wasn’t eating, I was still feeling anxious all day for no apparent reason and anger became one of my only emotions. I didn’t like that medication and this visit was to switch medication.

Every single visit, I seemed to talk to another doctor than the last but that wasn’t the thing to upset me. I actually don’t mind that a few different doctors had their input because, from the start, I’ve been wary about taking medication for my mental health.  In the beginning, they were considering putting me on bi-polar medication but decided against it because I don’t show any other symptoms other than anger.

One thing that did bother me about my last visit was this one particular doctor’s viewpoints and comments on mental health. He made me believe that the issues I was bringing up were normal things that just happen in life and were no big deal.

It didn’t upset me at that moment (something else took the cake) however, the more I thought about my appointment that’s when I got a bit more upset. This doctor was brushing off my anger issues as if it’s a natural thing that’s supposed to happen even though I have extreme outbursts and don’t trust myself when I’m in that mindset.

The more I think about it the more it makes me think about school shootings. My personal belief is mental health plays some role in the number of school shootings that occur in this country. School shootings aren’t the focus of this post however, I have to wonder how many of those individuals went to a doctor and was told that’s life just deal with it.

While at work I remembered my doctors visit and him telling me that my anger while driving is just normal or just apart of life and I thought, “Is that what you would tell someone before they shoot up a school? Oh well, your anger is just apart of life” and you’re just a doctor that gives TERRIBLE ADVICE.

I am someone you would NEVER expect to have anger issues. No one believes me. They see me as this 5’5” small, white girl and think ‘oh she looks so innocent and looks like she can easily be pushed around’ (because I get pushed around constantly), however, what they see is only my outside appearance. What they don’t see or realize is I get my anger from my dad and his side of the family, which is basically a long line of men with anger issues.

So really on the inside, I am my father, I’m a 6’5” tall, strong guy who does not want to be fucked around. But of course, no one sees that because I look like a sorority girl.

This experience at the doctor’s office made me take a step back. It’s really making me think because I understand the doctor probably didn’t want to over-medicate me but I also want someone to take my emotions seriously.

The other thing that happened while at the doctors’ office that got me upset at the moment was a “joke” the so-called doctor told me. I don’t remember the joke exactly but I know for a fact, that by the end of the joke he placed both hands on my shoulders and shook me. He told me this joke because I was getting visibly upset that something I thought was being worked on for months, in fact, hadn’t even started. What made me upset was he thought it was best to try and calm me down like I am some hysterical person. I’m upset because you weren’t doing your job and I’m not afraid to voice that concern.

It felt like I was being pushed under the rug and being walked all over, something I’ve gotten used to but I’m fighting back now because I’m sick and tired of it.

When the doctor was done with his joke (one that made ZERO sense by-the-way) he left the room because I gave him a death stare and turned immediately to Alec. I asked him bluntly if a doctor has ever touched him in that manner and he said no.

I said it more along the lines of:

“I’m so fucking pissed. How dare he think it’s okay to touch me whether I’m upset or not. Have you been touched in that sort of way ever at a doctors office?”

“No, never except for anything routine.”

The only time a doctor touched him for non-medical reasons was to give him a pat on the back. I’m honestly glad Alec was there because he can now finally experience first hand the kind of experiences I go through. I really want him to know that I don’t make this stuff up and I don’t do this for attention (and he, of course, knows that but he’s a guy who hasn’t experience inappropriate touching).

While I know it was just this particular doctor because I had seen 3 others before him, from that office and never experienced this with them. But to know there are doctor’s out there that aren’t 100% believing their patients or even just listening is quite unsettling.

You, the doctor, aren’t going through my experiences or in my mind. Why do you think you can tell me what I’m exaggerating or not?

I am very open when I go to the doctor’s because I know to give them more information is WAY better than not giving them enough, however, some people don’t think like this. When they visit a doctor or a therapist for the first time they most likely will not give you the whole story because other people have told them they’re overreacting or what not.

I’m writing about this experience of mine because it just made me stop and take a step back. It’s okay to realize and voice your concerns when you feel like something should have been handled better. It’s okay to get angry when you feel people aren’t taking you seriously. And it’s okay to be mad at doctor’s who think mental health is just everyday things that aren’t really serious. I don’t want people to feel like they aren’t being listened to. I don’t want people to give up on getting the help they need because when that happens we get people with lost souls who have nothing to lose.

Sincerely,

A Simple Wildflower

All I Want for Christmas is…YOU!

I received a lot of wonderful feedback from my Instagram post about the type of gifts I will be giving out this holiday season and I thought I should write a post so I can provide others an idea on what to give their loved ones.

If you don’t follow me on Instagram, then you will not know the post I am referring to and, in that case, you should totally go to my page (asimplewildflower) and check out that post after you’re done reading this. In my post, I briefly talked about how instead of shopping on Black Friday and Cyber Monday to purchase gifts for my family and friends, I will instead gift everyone an experience that the two of us could do together in 2019. I made the choice to do that this year with my immediate family members and the ones closest to me because I’d rather build a stronger relationship with them instead of buying something they may or may not like. I turned 25 this year and not only does money not grow on trees but everyone around me is aging and it’s naive to think they are guaranteed a long and healthy life. So, while everyone in my life is alive and well, I want to make sure I’m making memories with them today.

Even though I am willing to spend more money on an experience with someone I still want to “gift” the experience, and I believe I found the perfect idea for it! My plan is to purchase everyone on my list a picture frame that will remind me of them and inside the frame, there will be a note or a riddle (haven’t decided which one yet) telling them what experience I have planned for them. I really like the picture frame idea because in my letter I will add a p.s. note that will state, once our experience is complete, we can switch out this note for our picture together. Not only can you spend time with someone you love but they will also get to keep that memory alive forever in their home with a picture frame.

Now, with that being said, I have a small immediate family so thankfully this list won’t be a mile long.

The first person on my list is my mom. First off, my mom deserves a god dang island, but I can’t even imagine affording that so I’m going to take her to the next best thing; Dry Tortugas in Key West, FL! Alec and I originally planned on visiting Dry Tortugas National Park back in June for my 25th birthday, however, we couldn’t save up enough money to fit it into our plans. Our trip to Key West was the first time I remembered my mom expressing interest in that park and she has brought it up a few times since then; I got the hint mom! When I mentioned to my mom that I wanted to gift experiences rather than gifts, she was able to guess hers on the first try!

Next on my list is my dad and his gift idea was also an easy one to think of, however, I’m still a little hesitant to give it my 100% approval. My dad had gone skydiving before and has always expressed his excitement on taking me one day and I have always been so set against skydiving, until recently. I wouldn’t say I’m excited to go but for roughly a year I have gone back and forth about the idea of going skydiving and I figured if I’m flipflopping about it now, I might as well go for it. I know my dad would really enjoy this experience with me because he has already sent me a text message letting me know that he would like to do an experience rather than gifts. In his text message, he has already HARDCORE hinted about skydiving because at the bottom of his text he had an emoji of a plane and two people and I honestly cannot imagine a more perfect gift idea for my dad.

My brother was a little bit trickier because he is completely okay with watching a movie together and that is bonding. When I called him for his birthday this past month, I asked him if we were to do something together what would you want to do, and his answer was bowling. At this point, I already knew what I was going to gift my mom and dad and I knew the price of Key West and skydiving was going to be much more expensive than bowling and I didn’t want there to be a huge difference between experience costs. After explaining this to my brother he started thinking along the lines of scuba diving but knew we would need to obtain a license for that. I didn’t realize that my brother would want to do something in the water and I brought up the idea of shark diving and to my surprise, he agreed! There aren’t many people who get excited when you bring up the idea of shark diving, so when my brother agreed to this idea I was smiling like a fool because I was so excited to finally find someone who wanted to do this experience with me.

I was talking with a coworker about the upcoming holidays and how I didn’t want to buy gifts for family this year because money is wasted on products they don’t really use, and I would rather spend time with them. She expressed the same concern and brought up an idea she was thinking of doing this year. Her plan is to purchase tickets to a South African band (the country she is from) for her brother and her parent’s and beforehand she would like to cook a big South African meal. I thought that was such a wonderful idea and told her she needs to consider this option because that would not only be a wonderful gift to them, but it will also be a memory everyone will cherish forever.

I am still undecided on what experiences I would like to do with a few other people on my list, however, I know for a fact they will each receive a picture frame with details pertaining to their experience and maybe I’ll throw in something small like reusable straws because if I’m going to buy a gift it will be something practical that they could use daily.

Sincerely,

A Simple Wildflower

When Having a Bad Day

You know “those days”? The moment you wake up, something bad happens and the rest of the day seems to follow as such? Then you’re driving back home crying your eyes out because you’re so exhausted from all the emotions you feel all the damn time!

That is exactly how the day I’m talking about went for me. The traffic on the way to work was horrendous, my co-worker makes my blood boil, and I was humiliated at a work training. To be honest, I don’t know when a bad day could be my last. I’m not sure which bad day will be so bad that I don’t want to live another day. This is exactly what I was feeling that day, I just did not want the next day to come because I no longer had to will to live it. I wanted to sink into my bed away from existence.

Mental health is such a tricky thing. Everyone has different experiences of various size and scale, but it’s tricky nonetheless. Trying to work through my mental health has been the most difficult thing I’ve had to deal with. That’s because I’m constantly living with a mind that wants to die but deep down I know that isn’t true.

I think the best word for mental health is confusion. There is a lot of confusion surrounding mental health and that’s because our brains are one of the most complex organs in our body. Scientists still have a hard time truly understanding the brain. So, it’s completely okay that we don’t know how to handle our own mental health. Give yourself some credit! I know it can be hard because I even have a difficult time doing this myself. The best advice I received from my therapist is to be nicer to myself.

Trying to finds ways to deal with my constant mind telling me to end things is pretty difficult but I came up with a short list of things that have somewhat helped me cope. These ideas are not going to cure you, you should talk to a doctor if it’s severe. However, these are things that I try to do on top of medicine. The medicine I am taking is for my depression and anxiety but not for anger, so at times anger is a VERY prevalent emotion.

  1. Crying: I DO THIS ALL THE TIME! NO SHAME! Seriously, cry all day if you need to. After this bad day of mine, I cried for 6 hours straight and when I finished crying I felt a sense of relief. On this day, I cried my whole commute home while on the phone with my boyfriend. He was in a conference in Miami, and I thankfully had the apartment to myself. I made dinner, watched my guilty pleasure ‘Bachelor in Paradise’, and I continued to cry for the rest of the evening until bedtime. Plain and simple, crying is a way to release any type of emotion. That’s why we cry when we’re sad, happy, or angry.
  2. Find Your Thing; My thing is online shopping! I freaking LOVE to online shop, probably an unhealthy habit but I don’t care! Whenever I’m feeling this kinda way I usually go on my Sephora app and browse (usually). I try to not buy anything because I would blow my budget for sure! However, it’s nice to browse and put things into my wish list. I get into a happier mood thinking about the things I could buy in the future.
  3. Eat Something You Want: If you’re feeling like today was a bad day then gosh darn it, TREAT YO SELF! Why must the bad day continue when you get home? Your home is your safe place. Make something that YOU want to eat. Whenever I eat something that I’ve been craving I get into a better mood. If you love to cook, make one of your favorite dishes! If you can’t cook, like me, pick something up in the drive-thru. Alec and I love Chick fil a and it really does soothe our souls!
  4. Find Your Support System: This is last on my list but the MOST important. There are many days that I am truly grateful to have my boyfriend by my side as I go along this journey. This is my journey but at least I don’t have to go through it alone. If you’re reading this and you don’t have a support system I cannot imagine how lonely you must feel and I urge you to find one person to confide in. This person DOES NOT need to be a family member. I think there is this false mindset that it must be a family member to help you through all your problems but if you don’t have family close to you find that person who you trust. I didn’t tell my mom about my mental health until very recently. I never wanted her to worry or look at me differently like I was too delicate or too fragile because of my mental state. However, once I started taking medicine I told my mom everything I was going through, and it was perfect timing because I felt at peace telling her then. Confide in the person you believe will stay with you on this journey. That is why I told my boyfriend. He is one of the most patient humans on this planet and all my outbursts he handles with grace. I might get mad at him, but he loves me unconditionally. Find that person to tell your struggles too.

I know these aren’t the most amazing ideas, but these are the few, practical things I do to calm myself down after a really bad day. Take a moment to breathe and just let out that tear and let those tears keep rolling! Cry into the delicious food you’re going to make. It’s okay I won’t tell!

We’re human, we have bad days. I know it may seem like you have bad days WAY MORE than others, but one of my favorite things in the world is watching the sunrise. I like witnessing the sunrise after a day where I didn’t want to go on because deep down I was strong enough to hold on to see it.

I really hope these ideas are helpful to you because what you’re going through is hard. No doubt about it. I would like to know what coping mechanisms you use to help you when you’re having a bad day. Like such a bad day that you don’t want to see the next day. DO NOT believe for a second you go through that alone.

Sincerely,

A Simple Wildflower

 

Small Moments

As each day passes I learn more that the best things in life, and the things I hold onto the most, are life’s small moments. Small moments has easily stepped up to become very memorable parts of my life.

There have been many days that started off bad and then got worse in a matter of seconds. A day that is just down right bad, nothing good has happened or will happen that day. No amount of positive thinking will reverse this kind of day. When I’m having this kind of day, my mean and degrading thoughts come creeping back up to the surface; though they never really disappear. Long story short, whenever I feel stress my mind immediately wants to kill itself. But not in the funny meme way.

I naturally have low serotonin and my bad moods seem to be the end of the world. That is why I’m forcing myself to take a step back and notice what’s around me. Alec and I were driving home from taking Teddy (our dog) to the park and picking up queso from Tijuana Flats, when we came across such a breathtaking moon. We turn the corner in our neighborhood and we were greeted with such a big, magnificent moon that hadn’t fully risen and seemed so close you could touch it.

Another moment I cherish is walking into my bedroom and seeing Mia (our cat) pop her head over the bed, so I can only see her face. She looks like a meerkat when she does that, and I can’t help but smile when I see her do that. Even writing this paragraph I have the biggest smile on my face because I’m thinking of her cute little face.

I love when my boyfriend will walk past me and smack my butt. It’s a small gesture that confirms that he still thinks I’m sexy and wants to tap that. I wouldn’t want that to stop.

I love when I come home and Teddy has the most violent butt wiggles I have ever seen! He gets SO excited to see you that he can’t contain all his happiness inside himself, he needs to let it out! And it’s let out in the form of butt wiggles. Teddy gives me a ton of headaches, but I could never say no to those butt wiggles. I love that the best part of his day is seeing myself and Alec walk through that door.

Small moments also give me a reason to live. Knowing that Teddy loves and depends on us makes me live.

Being able to come home and hear Mia make her cute bird noises keeps alive.

I love when I come home she is equally as excited to see me. She doesn’t come towards me because Teddy is already jumping on me and he would crush her. Her way of wanting to show her love and affection is by jumping on the counters and calling out to you until you give her all the love.

Sitting on our balcony, eating dinner, talking about nonsense makes me stay around.

When I get too overwhelmed and don’t really enjoy living, I am always grounded by my boyfriend and my animals. They all provide me with a sense of security and comfort.

Not all small moments in my life revolve around my boyfriend and animals however, I do spend the most time with them. Currently, I’ve been trying to be more observant of my surroundings and this has allowed me to see the everyday beauty that’s around us.

When driving to work I now notice this tree that has the most beautiful flowers. The whole tree blooms with these beautiful, light purple flowers. If I was too caught up on my emotions while driving (which is my trigger) and the people who cause my displeasure, I wouldn’t have really noticed this beautiful tree that’s kind of to the side.

Now that I’m more observant (or trying to be) I’ve noticed more butterflies. Not sure why but I’m not complaining.

I’ve also noticed more blue jays as well. Which I thought odd living in South Florida. Didn’t realize they traveled this far south.

I think it’s important to look at our small moments in life and treat them with more finesse. If we only wait around for our next trip, our next house, or next this or that then many days will pass you by and then you wonder where the time went.

This has helped me enjoy life a bit more. Taking in all the small moments the world has to offer! 🙂

Sincerely,

A Simple Wildflower

 

International Day of Non-Violence: How Will I Celebrate?

Today is International Day of Non-Violence. Not many people are going to write about this topic however, I feel like it should be mentioned.

First off, we should all take time today to remember those individuals who changed the course of history through their acts of non-violence. Such as Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, John Lennon, and the person who the holiday was dedicated for, Mahatma Gandhi. October 2nd, was chosen as the official holiday because that is Gandhi’s birthday. Gandhi was the leader of the Indian Independence Movement and a pioneer of philosophy and non-violence. I know, for myself, Gandhi is the first person I think of when I think of the word non-violence.

A way that I will be celebrating this holiday is by reflecting on my own actions. If there is one thing I can control, it’s my reaction to any situation. And this has been something I’ve been lacking. Since moving to South Florida, I have developed major anger issues and my trigger is driving. I get worked up while driving and when someone cuts me off or drives slowly I will act out in rage then feel guilty about my actions afterwards. To advocate for a better world where people are kinder, I need to look at myself and work on my own actions first. I cannot control the actions of others, and it’s okay to remind yourself that. People are stupid drivers and telling myself I can’t control their actions helps me cope better when dealing with stupid drivers.

We need to take time today to remember those individuals who changed history through their acts of non-violence. They were able to stand taller than their opposers to fight and win for their cause. Though we may not be activists turning the world on its axis, we are individuals that could be a whole lot nicer to one another. To make the world a better place we should first start with our communities. I will smile at my neighbors even when I get a sour face from them (which has been all but one). I will give a casual wave as I let someone pass me. Though I REALLY enjoy being a homebody and grew more anti-social as I got older, I will force myself to be the better neighbor.

Everyone loves Mr. Rogers because he was the kindest, most understanding person who has ever lived. I LOVED watching his show as a child however, I don’t see his teaching’s continuing as we turned into adults. We tend to distance ourselves from people we don’t know and it’s easy to do. It’s easy to get caught up in our everyday lives and routines.

My boyfriend and his friend were moving our big couch up a flight of stairs into our new apartment. They were obviously making noise because it’s a HUGE couch. Our neighbor opened the door, Kyle (our friend) said sorry for the noise this is our last piece of furniture. All our neighbor did was look at him straight in the face, said nothing then shut the door. Not a very welcoming greeting, even a no problem would have sufficed. We got the couch in our new apartment and the first thing I said was “well it sounds like she’ll be a bitch.” My first reaction to the situation was to say this woman was a bitch, even if she was acting in such a way. Though I wasn’t violent, words can do more damage than a punch and I need to be more mindful of my words.

The next day, I thought to myself, what if this woman was sitting on her couch or in her room at 8:15 pm to sounds of banging on her wall and door? That would be terrifying and can kind of understand why she greeted us so coldly. Of course, if I was living by myself and heard banging I would not answer the door and bunker down hoping the noise isn’t a person.

There are many times I get so worked up that I can feel the anger and anxiety brewing inside me, then I can’t contain it anymore and have a huge outburst. This has NEVER gotten me in a good situation. Alec will always tell me a calm and rational thing to do to make that certain situation better, but I never listen, and it always blows up in my face. Causing me more anxiety because I feel guilty for having an outburst in the first place. Instead of having another outburst and starting a neighbor relationship on bad terms, I had to force myself to take a step back and think about her side of the situation. I normally get too caught up on my side and how the anger and anxiety is making my body feel in that moment. I need to be better and more mindful of others.

If we want to be like Mr. Rogers, then we need to be nicer to our neighbors; even when they aren’t our standard of kind. That’s how I’m going to interpret today. This day of non-violence I will take a step back and think about others before I let my anger and anxiety take control of a situation. I know this holiday is dedicated for Gandhi but when I think about what I could do to make the world a better place through non-violence the person I want to mirror is Mr. Rogers.

Why I Started a Blog

Hello and welcome to my blog! I am SO glad you are here!

Within the past couple of years, I have gone through some difficult times (as has everyone on this planet) and needed a positive outlet. I have always liked the idea of writing and starting a blog, but I never knew where to start. I had so many questions and a million more doubts. Would I have anything interesting to write about? Would anyone even care about what I had to say? Will I be a laughing stock amongst my peers?

These thoughts are so toxic, and they are the main reason why I need a positive outlet, to begin with. A little background story, I am currently dealing with depression, anxiety, and anger issues. I was adamant on not taking medicine in the beginning; however, my outbursts were getting out of hand and I needed something to help me cope with my day-to-day. So, long story short, I’m figuring out what medication works for me and I am on a mini roller coaster of emotions which can be quite exhausting.

I had done a little bit of research to get a taste of what other lifestyle blogs were out there and I couldn’t find anything centered around self-care or mental health. All the lifestyle blogs I came across either focused on fashion and travel or they featured bloggers resembling models. I don’t live lavishly, I can’t afford to go on multiple trips a month, and I don’t have the funds to buy the best wardrobe in town. I am a 25-year-old who is barely trying to hold but tries to make the most of life by going on small adventures and buying clothes that make me happy. All kidding aside, this blog is most importantly a space to be as authentic as possible. I know in the Instagram world that can seem near impossible. Everyone focuses on capturing the perfect lifestyle through their photos, however, no lifestyle is perfect. And NO ONE is living a perfect life.

What I post on Instagram does not represent my everyday life. They are photos I have chosen to represent my life. Real-life me is a much uglier person. I have immense road rage, anxiety attacks an hour before I need to drive, I’m impatient, and constantly doubting or putting myself down. That is not something people really want to see on social media, but if we pretend we don’t experience these feelings, they will continue to get worse.

Podcasts have been my saving grace! I have found a wonderfully beautiful podcast that talks about everything that goes on in life. It talks about all the ugly topics that no one wants to hear, and they give out some of the best advice I have ever heard. This has been my only outlet and I don’t think it’s enough. I don’t think we as humans talk about life and the difficulties of life as often as we should. We want to brush all our problems under the rug because no one wants to feel pain or anger but at some point, we will feel these emotions and we need to know how to deal with them and learn to move forward.

And that’s when I knew the focus of my blog would be centered about self-care and mental health. It will have other topics that correspond with my life like minimalism, travel, and beauty + skincare but I want to remain authentic about what happens during my everyday struggles. If no one else is going to be daring enough to talk about real life, then I will be the person to do so! It frustrates me how “perfect” social media is, and it’s a toxic mindset.

The perfect example is, I was casually talking with a close friend of mine and she mentioned that it looks like I’m living my best life and I’m going to all these really cool places. WELL, in fact, and I told her this, I said: “that is all a lie because I have actually gotten worse in my mental state and I’m not doing well.” She completely understood because we all try to portray something else on social media, but life gets to us. We all have something we are going through and I want a place for people to share their experiences and have at least one outlet.

We all have minds, so we ALL have mental health. And we all need to take care of our mental health.

My goal for this blog is to bring any type of topic that someone could be going through. I will need suggestions though because I do go through my own issues, but there are going to be some issues I may never think of because they aren’t pertaining to me personally. And that is where I want to challenge myself. I want to open my mind up to the fact that other people are having issues and I really need to be more mindful to others.

When I see someone driving like a maniac, I no longer get upset and want to scream at them. I think to myself: “they must have high anxiety and maybe some anger issues.” Because I know for myself, when I drive crazy or reckless I’m having a really rough day and my anxiety is through the roof that my heart’s going to jump out of my chest. If we all think about the other person being human, we would all be a lot kinder to one another. And I truly hope I can show this through my blog. I want this blog to be truly human, not some Instagram perfect life crap.

Life is too tricky and difficult to try and pretend that we’re all perfect and living perfect lives.

Sincerely,

A Simple Wildflower